Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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