I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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