so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize