all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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