You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize