Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize