well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
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The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
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I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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