haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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