oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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