Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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