Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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