Porn is love you can see.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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