Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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