Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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