dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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