She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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