naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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