I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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