you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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