Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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