i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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