i wish my penis had a tongue
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize