the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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