Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
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Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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