How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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