were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize