found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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