Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
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My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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