i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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