he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize