i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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