I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
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