I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize