paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize