So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
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The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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