Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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