I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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