that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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