tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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