Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
i think i just lost a toe
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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