Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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