Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

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  (847): i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago http://tfl.nu/60w4
  Replies (29) Good night (5173) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We call that spaghetti Os

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  (207): I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it (617): We call that spaghetti Os http://tfl.nu/dgrn
  Replies (33) Good night (10111) Bad night (867)
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  (310): View more from California

  Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta

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  (310): Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta http://tfl.nu/zeqg
  Replies (86) Good night (2972) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.

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  (305): I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner. http://tfl.nu/42gn
  Replies (28) Good night (1656) Bad night (3391) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?

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  (914): explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts? http://tfl.nu/duu8
  Replies (15) Good night (3866) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.

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  (757): I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/hl6i
  Replies (14) Good night (4738) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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  (570): found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory. http://tfl.nu/fqts
  Replies (13) Good night (4449) Bad night (777)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.

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  (920): Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work. http://tfl.nu/fle5
  Replies (15) Good night (6244) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.

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  (513): I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered. http://tfl.nu/5t2g
  Replies (15) Good night (3904) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.

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  (530): and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters. http://tfl.nu/hxhg
  Replies (5) Good night (2905) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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  (313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p
  Replies (4) Good night (2002) Bad night (1356)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have

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  (484): But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have http://tfl.nu/07zt
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats

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  (704): sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats http://tfl.nu/2wgg
  Replies (7) Good night (387) Bad night (1192) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.

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  (770): I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby. http://tfl.nu/say7
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (186) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.

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  (720): Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate. http://tfl.nu/0wwt
  Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (92) Order T-Shirt

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