I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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