come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize