Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

  (906): View more from Michigan

  so you're not coming in to work today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops. (906): so you're not coming in to work today? http://tfl.nu/mm6u
  Replies (13) Good night (1248) Bad night (3917)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them. http://tfl.nu/apo9
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (3784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them http://tfl.nu/hbhk
  Replies (8) Good night (4061) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important. http://tfl.nu/a970
  Replies (7) Good night (4021) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol http://tfl.nu/846v
  Replies (5) Good night (2124) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment. http://tfl.nu/088o
  Replies (3) Good night (2590) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend. (701): The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer. http://tfl.nu/9cgs
  Replies (7) Good night (1998) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked. http://tfl.nu/gx9q
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU http://tfl.nu/78be
  Replies (10) Good night (1668) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get? http://tfl.nu/ju2n
  Replies (7) Good night (400) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all http://tfl.nu/hnjr
  Replies (6) Good night (357) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year. http://tfl.nu/ajj5
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass http://tfl.nu/kkwh
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (147)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle? http://tfl.nu/3yux
  Replies (2) Good night (660) Bad night (179)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I thought you wanted to talk?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I thought you wanted to talk? (908): What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk? http://tfl.nu/h1nx
  Replies (3) Good night (1045) Bad night (188)

Randomize