Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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