On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize