Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize