At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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