I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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